My Mental Health Awareness Soapbox

I don't get on this kick very often, but it's late and I've had way too much sugar and caffeine, so you get the real, unedited, me tonight.

Jerry is bi-polar. Karen is schizophrenic.  Susan is depressed. Tom is ADHD.  Ahhh, labels.  We seem to love them, especially when it comes to labeling people.

Mental health.  We all need it.  Most of us feel like we lack it at one time or another.  But for the people who truly struggle with mental illness, being even partially mentally healthy would be a dream come true.  For some reason, society has come to the conclusion that those who have  a mental illness are crazy, or stupid, or dangerous, or otherwise less worthy of living a good life.   As soon as one of the labels I mentioned above is given, images of what that person acts like instantly pop into most people's heads. 

The sad thing is, most of these images are inaccurate, and often quite hurtful.  We tend to marginalize those with mental illness, when they already feel excluded just based on the diagnosis alone.  As a result, the illness, or the effects of it, often become worse. It quickly becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.

The truth is that people with mental illness are all around us.  It could be your neighbor, co-worker, cashier, family member, clergy, boss, homeless person, kid at the bus stop, me, or even yourself. In fact, every person I know who has some kind of mental health diagnosis appears normal most of the time.  They maintain jobs and homes, raise normal children,go to church, drive cars, get groceries and haircuts, and otherwise contribute to society in meaningful ways.

Thanks to modern medications, many of these illnesses can be controlled, but some cannot. Lifestyle changes also play an important part in maintaining mental health.  People with mental illness are often counseled to eat right, exercise, stay away from alcohol and illegal or addicting drugs, maintain a regular schedule, get enough sleep on a regular schedule, and do all the other "good" things anyone should do to stay healthy.  But, wouldn't it get old knowing that you have to always do these things or risk outing yourself as a crazy person?

Before someone comments on how I just used the word crazy to refer to mental illness, I will clarify.  First, the word crazy is used by society quite often to describe mentally ill people, so it has become pretty much the vernacular language.  Secondly, to behave crazily means to act erratically or without reason.  Anyone can act crazy, regardless of their mental health status.  Too often, people do not separate the behavior from the person.  As a teacher, I know this is an easy mistake to make, especially when the behavior is crazy.

To end this eclectic composition of various mental health ideas, I just want to give this basic message. Please be kind one another.  I don't know what the person next to me is going through anymore than you know.  It is impossible to tell why someone acts the way they do.  And it is unfair to assume that just because someone appears "normal" that they are not working their tails off to maintain that appearance. Always be cautious about assuming, because we all know what happens when you assume (it makes an ass out of you and, well, really that's it, just you).  In the end, it goes back to the very thing our parents taught us a youngsters - if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

Gratitude Post

Been in a pretty depressed and blah mood for way too long, so it's time to remind myself of all the things I have to be thankful for, so, in no particular order:

Friends who care enough to tell it like it is
Friends who don't judge
Friends who know the real imperfect me, and love me anyway
People who notice when I don't seem ok, and friends who are actually kind enough to ask
My kids
A safe house to live in
Food on the table
Good health, and access to medical care when we need it
A good stable job that I love (most days)
My education, and therefore my ability to remain independent
People who love me, even when I may not really deserve it
People who challenge me to love them, even when they may not really deserve it
Hot wings
Pumpkin ice cream
An ex-husband who is usually semi-reasonable to work with; if I have to have an ex, he's a decent one to have
Students who challenge me to become more patient, kind, and loving every day
Students who are fun, and who I can have a decent and intelligent conversation with (thank God for 8th graders!)
My kitties; their purring could heal anybody's broken heart
One student in particular who tells me every day how happy she is to see me and how much she loves me
My family of origin - my mom and dad, brother and sister
Finding a big box of old pictures, lots of them with me and my Grandmothers, who I still miss very much
Cooler weather, which brings the desire to actually sit outside and enjoy it
My kindle and free e-books
My Promethean Board at work (it's a love/hate relationship, but when it's good, I really enjoy it)

I'm sure I left a lot off this list, but I think this is enough to at least get my mind headed in the right direction before I head to bed.

Lessons learned

At almost 33 years old, I would like to think I have figured out life.  Of course, the truth is, I haven't, nor will I ever figure out all of life's mysteries.  If that were even possible, I fear people would just shrivel up and die because there would really be little left to live for since all the excitement would be over.  Over the last three months I have learned a lot lessons about myself, others, and life in general. 

Starting with the positives will make me feel like a glass is half full kind of gal, so here goes. 

First, and most importantly, I have learned that some people can, in fact be trusted.  Not everyone who finds out my flaws and quirks is going to turn it against me or just leave.  Many times, this has been my experience; retraining myself to think otherwise has taken a lot of work on my part, and on the part of the people who have taken the time to show me, without getting sick of me.  I still have a long way to go here, but I'm really trying.

At the same time, I have learned never to trust anyone more than I trust myself.  With the exception of God, who is always looking out for me, and a small select handful of friends who I know have my back when I don't have it myself, no one else should be trusted to take my best interest into account.  People are inherently greedy, and while many don't set out specifically to serve their own best interest, in the end that is always to goal.  Not that this is a bad thing; I consider it just the way life goes.  This includes myself, whether I realize it or not.

I've also learned that good enough is often just that - good enough.  While I still believe it is always important to put my best effort into all that I do, there are times when my best effort isn't perfection, which is okay.

I think I'll end there, on a positive note.  And by sharing a favorite quote of mine:

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.
Henry Ellis