Skylar will be 13 in just over 2 weeks! Where did time go?! I've got this ready to go to her. I cannot wait to give it to her. Thanks to a friend for sharing this with me, so I could adapt it for my own use.
Dear Daughter,
As you approach your 13th birthday, there are some things I want, and need, you to know...
1, Try to have fun -- and a lot of it.
Life is too short to always be serious. Don't ever be afraid to laugh at yourself or the other silly things life brings your way. In the end, you have two choices, be angry about everything, or smile and laugh at the ridiculousness of it. After years of practicing both, I can assure that laughter is the better choice. "Don't do anything I would do," is sometimes good advice. But, really, maybe it's bad advice. Because, what I would do is have fun whenever possible. Unless it is illegal or will hurt someone, just go with it and enjoy your life.
2. Never be afraid to say no to someone.
If you say "no," and don't hem and
haw, people will appreciate your honesty -- even if they don't like what
they hear -- more than they'll appreciate hearing a "yes" that you have
to renege on. If you can't commit to something -- or to someone --
please say so. It may be an old-fashioned truism, but that doesn't mean
"say what you mean and mean what you say" isn't true. This includes people. If it isn't right to have someone in your life, say no. You deserve amazingly good things; say to no to anything that isn't.
3. It is usually not about you.
As you grow older, don't worry so much about sucking your tummy in, or
making sure there's not a hair out of place. Most of the time, no one is
looking. Really. People like to think everyone is focused on them but,
in actuality, people are usually focused on themselves. And if someone
does something to you that's hurtful, it's almost certainly related to
something going on in their life that has nothing to do with you.
4. No one will ever love you the way your dad and I love you.
I know, I know. You may get married. You may have kids. You may have
countless boyfriends. And they will all love you enormously. There's no
doubt in my mind. No one in the
world would ever light up the way I do when you walk into a
room. Your dad and I think the world of you; you will always be our beautiful baby girl, even though you are about to be taller than both of us.
5. Modesty is very attractive.
No matter what you call them -- tiger moms or helicopter parents -- a
lot of moms and dads these days walk around telling their offspring how
bright and capable they are, that they can do everything perfectly and
be anything they want. As a result, many kids exude this sort of "I'm
better than everyone else" self-confidence. And no doubt it's nice to be
self-confident. But being humble will draw others to you, and make you
stand out, more than pounding on your chest ever will. You are a very amazing young lady. You don't need to tell anyone; let them see it (they already do).
6. Always stay close to your brother.
I know it's challenging when he is driving you crazy. Always remember you were each other's first best friends. While
the two of you might compete for attention in the household now,
there will come a point when you -- I'm hoping -- will be the best
of friends again. Even more than your father any I, he will always have your back. Support one another. Talk to one another. Be there when he needs.you and they'll be there for you. (I'll talk to him later.)
7. Life can turn on a dime.
I'm sure you already know, life throws things at us that we could never prepare for. Be strong and enjoy what you have when you have it. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Never take anything for
granted. Be grateful and tell your loved ones you love them -- every
chance you get.
8. This too shall pass.
I know it's hard to believe now, but all bad things are only temporary. These are difficult years for everyone, and even as an adult, bad things.No matter how mad you are, or how sad you feel, it will
pass. Certain losses will impact you for the rest of your life, but time
does heal the pain. I promise.
9. Try not to hold a grudge.
Life's way too short to constantly be mad at someone. Everyone makes
mistakes. If you've inadvertently hurt someone, the last thing you want
is for them to hold a grudge against you. Let things go. Be forgiving.
10. Don't build your worth on objects, but on experiences.
It's not about what you have, or even what you've done, but who you've done it with. When you are old and gray you will not talk about your beautiful (or ugly) furniture you had as a young adult. You will reminisce with anyone who listen about all of your adventures with people who were in your lives. Make sure you've got memories to talk about.
11. Come out of your room every once in awhile.
We won't bite and you might actually enjoy yourself.
12. I value your opinion.
I may not always agree with you, but I want to hear what you have to
say. You are very intelligent and articulate. You have good insight. Share it with me.
13. It's not uncool to have mom and dad in your corner.
It is our job, and great pleasure, to fight for you. No one hurts my babies. You've heard me say it so many times before. This is true, and sometimes it is hard to let you go to let you fight your own battles. It's because we love you so much, it pains us to see you hurting. We will always be here for you.
Finally, here's one to grow on -- "Make good choices." And if you don't, we'll deal with it.
So have a fabulous birthday
today. I love you, you smart, gorgeous, unpredictable, hilariously funny
13-year-old girl.
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Sunday, March 31, 2013
What does Easter really mean? A camping adventure
Easter means a lot of things to various people. Traditionally, it is a Christian celebration of our risen Lord. Such a miracle! How did it happen? People often ask this question. My answer - if we knew, it wouldn't be a miracle! It is also celebrated in secular fashion with the Easter Bunny, eggs, baskets, candy, and all kinds of other celebrations. I believe wholeheartedly the two can be mixed, without taking away from the true meaning of Easter, in the Christian sense.
More importantly, for me, anyway, Easter is a time of rebirth. Christ overcame death itself! The very thing that is known to be forever and unchangeable in this world. Makes me think that if Christ could accomplish that, surely our financial, relationship, health, job, family, and other worries can also be overcome. Easter, for me, is a time to start over. Almost like a spiritual New Year's Day. Instead of hats, horns, a giant ball, and more alcohol than is ever necessary, we can celebrate with faith, peace, happy Church music, flowers, and time with family.
My kids were with their dad this week, and my boyfriend, Thom's, girls were with their mother. We decided to take advantage of this quiet weekend to ourselves and go camping before the Texas heat gets too hot to do so. We both love the serenity of the woods, the simplicity of nature, and the joy of just concentrating on the task at hand, instead of the outside world.
What a weekend this was! It started out rocky and we were unsure if it would even happen. I'll be completely honest in saying we got in a huge fight Friday night, making both of us question whether he'd be joining me or not.
Well, I got up Saturday morning, and took my dog to the boarder. I cried as I left him. It was an awful place, and he was so scared! I came home and cried and cried. Through texting we decided Thom and I would go camping together (ahhhh! the joy of forgiveness!). I had finally worked through the tears of betraying my canine buddy, but when Thom got here, it started all over again! He tried to convince me we wouldn't go because I was having such a hard time leaving Charlie. But, I really wanted to go. So, the amazing man that he is, Thom started making some phone calls. Within an hour, Charlie was in a much happier place, without anxiety, ready to play with other dogs! I was ready to go. In case you're wondering, Doggy Day Out in Pflugerville is awesome!
Our trip to the store had a little bump in it; I forgot the shopping list. And, we were running late thanks to having to find another boarder for Charlie. Well it all worked out, and when I checked the list when we returned this morning, we managed to get everything on it! We finally got the cooler packed and headed to Blanco State Park. As was expected, traffic was horrible. There really is no major road to get there, so it was stop and go the whole way. Finally, almost 2 hours later, we arrived! Finally, it was time to start relaxing.
As we pulled in we saw the sign that no Texas camper wants to see. "No wood fires. Burn Ban. Only charcoal or propane grills with tight fitting lids." AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!! How were we to cook? We were 2 hours from home with no grill!!!!! They told us we could go to Dollar General in town, but Thom didn't want to spend more money. "We'll just eat sandwiches for every meal," we agreed. About an hour later we decided to go buy a grill. How else would I experience my first tin foil dinners? Luckily, less than an hour and $20 later, we had ourselves a grill, and a bag of self-lighting charcoal. This was a new experience for Thom, so see, a crisis turned into a horizons-expanding experience :)
After all that was done, and our tent was set up, we went exploring. We walked over the dam without falling over the edge, checked out a nature trail, and investigated the bluest body of water I have seen so far in Texas. We wished it was a little warmer, and we had brought bathing suits, because the swimming set up looked really fun. Next time, we said.
All this was great, but it didn't make the trip. The best part of the trip was having nothing else to do but sit and look at each other, and talk. Finally, we had enough time, and few enough distractions, to just dream, brainstorm, and make decisions. This is where the re-birth comes in. During this time (hours, to be exact), we discerned where we are, where we want to be, and how we are going to get there. Both personally, and as a couple. It's been a long time since we've had time for that. Too long. I knew this trip was very much needed, but I had no idea what that really meant.
Now we're home. We've got goals and plans. Our setbacks are behind us, and our future is in front of us. We both made decisions to go back to school; now we're just waiting to hear back on how to make that happen. We made plans for the future, and set a clear path for making them happen. We were re-born. Both as individuals, and as a couple, we are refreshed and renewed, and ready to take on the world!
So, as this Easter day comes to a close, I challenge you to think about the things in you that you'd like to renew, and the things you'd like to change. Where are you now, and where would you like to go? A New Year can start any time. It doesn't have to be a fancy celebration, just a revelation in your heart, mind, and spirit. Take the things that are dragging you down, and throw them away. Then find the things that build you up, and find more of it. Take some time to re-discover who you are, and celebrate an "Easter" within yourself.
More importantly, for me, anyway, Easter is a time of rebirth. Christ overcame death itself! The very thing that is known to be forever and unchangeable in this world. Makes me think that if Christ could accomplish that, surely our financial, relationship, health, job, family, and other worries can also be overcome. Easter, for me, is a time to start over. Almost like a spiritual New Year's Day. Instead of hats, horns, a giant ball, and more alcohol than is ever necessary, we can celebrate with faith, peace, happy Church music, flowers, and time with family.
My kids were with their dad this week, and my boyfriend, Thom's, girls were with their mother. We decided to take advantage of this quiet weekend to ourselves and go camping before the Texas heat gets too hot to do so. We both love the serenity of the woods, the simplicity of nature, and the joy of just concentrating on the task at hand, instead of the outside world.
What a weekend this was! It started out rocky and we were unsure if it would even happen. I'll be completely honest in saying we got in a huge fight Friday night, making both of us question whether he'd be joining me or not.
Well, I got up Saturday morning, and took my dog to the boarder. I cried as I left him. It was an awful place, and he was so scared! I came home and cried and cried. Through texting we decided Thom and I would go camping together (ahhhh! the joy of forgiveness!). I had finally worked through the tears of betraying my canine buddy, but when Thom got here, it started all over again! He tried to convince me we wouldn't go because I was having such a hard time leaving Charlie. But, I really wanted to go. So, the amazing man that he is, Thom started making some phone calls. Within an hour, Charlie was in a much happier place, without anxiety, ready to play with other dogs! I was ready to go. In case you're wondering, Doggy Day Out in Pflugerville is awesome!
Our trip to the store had a little bump in it; I forgot the shopping list. And, we were running late thanks to having to find another boarder for Charlie. Well it all worked out, and when I checked the list when we returned this morning, we managed to get everything on it! We finally got the cooler packed and headed to Blanco State Park. As was expected, traffic was horrible. There really is no major road to get there, so it was stop and go the whole way. Finally, almost 2 hours later, we arrived! Finally, it was time to start relaxing.
As we pulled in we saw the sign that no Texas camper wants to see. "No wood fires. Burn Ban. Only charcoal or propane grills with tight fitting lids." AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!! How were we to cook? We were 2 hours from home with no grill!!!!! They told us we could go to Dollar General in town, but Thom didn't want to spend more money. "We'll just eat sandwiches for every meal," we agreed. About an hour later we decided to go buy a grill. How else would I experience my first tin foil dinners? Luckily, less than an hour and $20 later, we had ourselves a grill, and a bag of self-lighting charcoal. This was a new experience for Thom, so see, a crisis turned into a horizons-expanding experience :)
After all that was done, and our tent was set up, we went exploring. We walked over the dam without falling over the edge, checked out a nature trail, and investigated the bluest body of water I have seen so far in Texas. We wished it was a little warmer, and we had brought bathing suits, because the swimming set up looked really fun. Next time, we said.
All this was great, but it didn't make the trip. The best part of the trip was having nothing else to do but sit and look at each other, and talk. Finally, we had enough time, and few enough distractions, to just dream, brainstorm, and make decisions. This is where the re-birth comes in. During this time (hours, to be exact), we discerned where we are, where we want to be, and how we are going to get there. Both personally, and as a couple. It's been a long time since we've had time for that. Too long. I knew this trip was very much needed, but I had no idea what that really meant.
Now we're home. We've got goals and plans. Our setbacks are behind us, and our future is in front of us. We both made decisions to go back to school; now we're just waiting to hear back on how to make that happen. We made plans for the future, and set a clear path for making them happen. We were re-born. Both as individuals, and as a couple, we are refreshed and renewed, and ready to take on the world!
So, as this Easter day comes to a close, I challenge you to think about the things in you that you'd like to renew, and the things you'd like to change. Where are you now, and where would you like to go? A New Year can start any time. It doesn't have to be a fancy celebration, just a revelation in your heart, mind, and spirit. Take the things that are dragging you down, and throw them away. Then find the things that build you up, and find more of it. Take some time to re-discover who you are, and celebrate an "Easter" within yourself.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Christmas Excitement - Bring it on!
Today I am enjoying a relaxing Sunday afternoon with my kids. I got to soak in the tub, Alex is enjoying his Xbox he got from his grandparents about a month ago for Christmas, and Skylar is watching a tv show on her iPad while she makes some kind of glittery craft. We're going to head to Girl Scouts in a bit, and I keep running through my mind what to buy for my children for Christmas on my limited budget. Getting antsy to go shopping, but I have to wait to payday.
I started to write on my Facebook that I am enjoying my Sunday before beginning 3 days of craziness at school before Winter Break. Then I decided, in my effort to be more positive, to try to put a different spin on things. Here goes...
Will it be crazy? ABSOLUTELY! Will the kids listen? PROBABLY NOT. Will they be full of chatter and excitement for the break and Christmas? FOR SURE. And that's it, right there. These students are kids. In their bodies, both little kid and grown up sized, are little kids at heart. They are excited because they are children gearing up for what is often the biggest, most exciting day of the year. Whether they get 2 presents or 20, they are still super excited. The beautiful lights on houses, trees being decorated, stockings hung, presents starting to pile under their trees. It's a lot for a kid to take in, and then focus on school! Heck, I sometimes find myself consumed with thoughts of what I need to decorate next when I get home!
So, now I am on my quest to figure out how to make this week not about me yelling at them about how their education is important and they need to sit down, be quiet, and take this opportunity to learn something, but to capitalize on their excitement, have some fun with them, and make the most of the joy of the season.
Don't get me wrong, we do have work to do, thanks to a broken copier and projector screen (modern technology is not always as great as it seems). We will get it done, but we will blend it it with fun. The kids have been asking for Christmas music. They've actually been asking me to make Christmas cards for their loved ones for over a week. And, maybe we'll play an "educational" movie while we work. The Grinch is educational, right? Clearly, calculating the speed of his sled going down the hill based on the slope and weight of the sled is mathematics, right?
I started to write on my Facebook that I am enjoying my Sunday before beginning 3 days of craziness at school before Winter Break. Then I decided, in my effort to be more positive, to try to put a different spin on things. Here goes...
Will it be crazy? ABSOLUTELY! Will the kids listen? PROBABLY NOT. Will they be full of chatter and excitement for the break and Christmas? FOR SURE. And that's it, right there. These students are kids. In their bodies, both little kid and grown up sized, are little kids at heart. They are excited because they are children gearing up for what is often the biggest, most exciting day of the year. Whether they get 2 presents or 20, they are still super excited. The beautiful lights on houses, trees being decorated, stockings hung, presents starting to pile under their trees. It's a lot for a kid to take in, and then focus on school! Heck, I sometimes find myself consumed with thoughts of what I need to decorate next when I get home!
So, now I am on my quest to figure out how to make this week not about me yelling at them about how their education is important and they need to sit down, be quiet, and take this opportunity to learn something, but to capitalize on their excitement, have some fun with them, and make the most of the joy of the season.
Don't get me wrong, we do have work to do, thanks to a broken copier and projector screen (modern technology is not always as great as it seems). We will get it done, but we will blend it it with fun. The kids have been asking for Christmas music. They've actually been asking me to make Christmas cards for their loved ones for over a week. And, maybe we'll play an "educational" movie while we work. The Grinch is educational, right? Clearly, calculating the speed of his sled going down the hill based on the slope and weight of the sled is mathematics, right?
Monday, October 29, 2012
Carpe Diem! Seize the day!
First, let's get this out of the way...1200+ page views! Really? I'm flattered and honored, and awestruck. Thank you so much for reading. I really appreciate it. Now, on to the good stuff.
We're gearing up for that busy time of year again, if we're not already in it. School is one-quarter of the way finished, fall sports are winding down, Halloween is on its way, we're in that weird weather phase of needing heat one day and a/c the next. After the Halloween hype is over, it will be time to start thinking about Thanksgiving, and then *gasp*, Christmas! In addition, at this particular moment, the northeast is in the midst of some kind of storm that I can no longer keep track of. Maybe it seems to be going more quickly than usual because I have also been caught up with stuff at work, which ultimately is only bringing me down. That has got to go! Resolution number 1 - get over work crap! Enjoy the good stuff in life and leave the rest of it behind!
I'm also inspired by the Caring Bridge journal kept by the family of Will Lucas, a little boy who was struck with an aggressive brain cancer a couple years ago, and recently passed away when his little body just couldn't fight anymore. If you're in for some sad, but courageous, stories, grab a box of tissues and a loved one and head on over to http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/willlucas. There you will find the blog written by Will's beautiful mother as she and her family move through her young son's battle with cancer, including the aftermath as they attempt to heal and move on with their lives, if that is even possible.
Anyway, she wrote that Will's birthday was sometime recently. They decided that in honor of Will, they would hold carpe diem day! The point was not really to do anything particularly special, but to delight in the things you were doing as never before. For example, if you were taking your morning walk, stop to look at the pretty flowers on the ground, or marvel at how those pesky fire ants really get from one spot to another (but stay FAR away from their hill, or...well you know!). If you are on the phone with a family member, take the time to really tell them you love them, enjoy their company, and appreciate them for all that they are. If you're just sitting and reading the newspaper, take in the full story you would have otherwise ignored.
So, I am promising myself to seize the day a little more often! For a worrier like myself, that is no easy task. I mean, what if my plans go wrong? What if I forgot something? What if I could have done something better? What if? What if? What if? In my attempt to live in the moment, I have given up a lot of that worrying. If you don't believe me, just ask my friends. Plans go awry? Seize the day! Use it for something else! Forgot something? Seize the day and make it work another day or another way! Found something better along the way? Seize the day and go do that instead!
Earlier today I asked Skylar, age 12, when Mimi and Papa (my parents) were coming to visit. She told me it would be in 4 weeks. I said, "and guess what we're going to do the weekend before they come!" "I already know, clean the house," was her response. Not quite what I was going for. I was planning to decorate for Christmas, even though it will be ridiculously early. Of course my house will be clean when they arrive, but this year, I'm going to try to put more effort into focusing on the fun stuff, the good stuff, the stuff we will really remember in 100 years. Do I really want my kids telling their kids, "and every time we had company, mom made us clean like crazy people for an entire week first"? Or, would I rather they tell their kids, "and mom would let us decorate for Christmas even though it wasn't even Thanksgiving yet!" I think I'll take the latter. It makes for a much better story. Kinda makes me sound cool, I think.
I've got four weeks til my family gets here, yay! My mom and dad, and brother, will be at the airport in almost exactly 4 weeks to the hour as I write this. I think I will spend that time doing the majority of the sprucing up myself so that the kids and I can enjoy the Carpe Diem-ing it in a couple weeks when it's time to get out those decorations and get ready for our first Christmas celebration of the year! Time goes so quickly. Sometimes it's hard to remember to enjoy the moment. As a closing thought, I really like this quote, which quite nicely sums up everything I just tried to say:
“We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.”
― Bill Watterson
We're gearing up for that busy time of year again, if we're not already in it. School is one-quarter of the way finished, fall sports are winding down, Halloween is on its way, we're in that weird weather phase of needing heat one day and a/c the next. After the Halloween hype is over, it will be time to start thinking about Thanksgiving, and then *gasp*, Christmas! In addition, at this particular moment, the northeast is in the midst of some kind of storm that I can no longer keep track of. Maybe it seems to be going more quickly than usual because I have also been caught up with stuff at work, which ultimately is only bringing me down. That has got to go! Resolution number 1 - get over work crap! Enjoy the good stuff in life and leave the rest of it behind!
I'm also inspired by the Caring Bridge journal kept by the family of Will Lucas, a little boy who was struck with an aggressive brain cancer a couple years ago, and recently passed away when his little body just couldn't fight anymore. If you're in for some sad, but courageous, stories, grab a box of tissues and a loved one and head on over to http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/willlucas. There you will find the blog written by Will's beautiful mother as she and her family move through her young son's battle with cancer, including the aftermath as they attempt to heal and move on with their lives, if that is even possible.
Anyway, she wrote that Will's birthday was sometime recently. They decided that in honor of Will, they would hold carpe diem day! The point was not really to do anything particularly special, but to delight in the things you were doing as never before. For example, if you were taking your morning walk, stop to look at the pretty flowers on the ground, or marvel at how those pesky fire ants really get from one spot to another (but stay FAR away from their hill, or...well you know!). If you are on the phone with a family member, take the time to really tell them you love them, enjoy their company, and appreciate them for all that they are. If you're just sitting and reading the newspaper, take in the full story you would have otherwise ignored.
So, I am promising myself to seize the day a little more often! For a worrier like myself, that is no easy task. I mean, what if my plans go wrong? What if I forgot something? What if I could have done something better? What if? What if? What if? In my attempt to live in the moment, I have given up a lot of that worrying. If you don't believe me, just ask my friends. Plans go awry? Seize the day! Use it for something else! Forgot something? Seize the day and make it work another day or another way! Found something better along the way? Seize the day and go do that instead!
Earlier today I asked Skylar, age 12, when Mimi and Papa (my parents) were coming to visit. She told me it would be in 4 weeks. I said, "and guess what we're going to do the weekend before they come!" "I already know, clean the house," was her response. Not quite what I was going for. I was planning to decorate for Christmas, even though it will be ridiculously early. Of course my house will be clean when they arrive, but this year, I'm going to try to put more effort into focusing on the fun stuff, the good stuff, the stuff we will really remember in 100 years. Do I really want my kids telling their kids, "and every time we had company, mom made us clean like crazy people for an entire week first"? Or, would I rather they tell their kids, "and mom would let us decorate for Christmas even though it wasn't even Thanksgiving yet!" I think I'll take the latter. It makes for a much better story. Kinda makes me sound cool, I think.
I've got four weeks til my family gets here, yay! My mom and dad, and brother, will be at the airport in almost exactly 4 weeks to the hour as I write this. I think I will spend that time doing the majority of the sprucing up myself so that the kids and I can enjoy the Carpe Diem-ing it in a couple weeks when it's time to get out those decorations and get ready for our first Christmas celebration of the year! Time goes so quickly. Sometimes it's hard to remember to enjoy the moment. As a closing thought, I really like this quote, which quite nicely sums up everything I just tried to say:
“We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.”
― Bill Watterson
Friday, September 14, 2012
Another year's about to pass...
My birthday is exactly one month away...I will be 34 years old! I know some of you are going to tell me how incredibly young I am, but I have to tell ya, most days I just don't feel it. Between waking up at 5:45 a.m. just to get my youngest on the bus, and rushing off to a workday that now starts earlier than ever, teaching one more class and several more students than I ever have, then running home to my own 6th grader in need of math help and attitude adjustment, a 3rd grader who has become quite the perfectionist, dinner (is there time to eat?!), forcing reluctant kiddos into bed, and getting myself to bed at a decent hour, I'm feeling quite old. And let's not forget, the importance of finding time for myself. Better squeeze it all in on Wednesdays and every other weekend! I must also admit, even- numbered birthdays always make me feel old...don't ask, it's just a quirk. The one thing that always makes me feel better, however, is remembering that my very best friends from high school and most of college, are ALL older than me, some by a whole year. One of the few advantages of having your mom start your schooling at age four, instead of having her wait the extra year :)
I'd like to sit and reminisce about all the things I have accomplished in the last year, but much of it is a blur. I do remember my birthday last year being absolutely sad and depressing. Although it's not about the gifts, it also sucks when you don't get one. Now, my awesome mom and dad DID send me money, but it was a month early, and I think I spent it on work clothes, woo hoo. The kids' dad did get a gift card to Half-Price Books, which I normally would have loved, but he was shoving it in the envelope as he walked through the door, tossed it at me, and told me he didn't know what I'd like. I remember standing there thinking, "14 years, and you don't know what I'd like?" Yeah, a good indication I did the right thing. Some people who normally would have gotten me gifts just didn't, and some didn't even recognize it; I sat home by myself wondering what had happened. I don't want to sound like a brat, it was just a totally different experience for me, and a little tough to take at the time.
I guess I actually have accomplished a lot. The year actually has flown by My kids, especially Skylar, have gotten huge, tons smarter, and far more independent (finally, thank you God!). We took in some animals for fostering until they found their forever homes. And somehow acquired our neighbor's dog when I yelled at him about calling animal control the next time he got out. I've had to eat my words a few times when he got out on me, too.
I've learned how to work with someone I sometimes despise, because it makes my kids feel better. I've learned how to better choose my battles and words (but I'm still working on this one!). Unlike many people, I take a lot of heat before finally deciding I've had enough. I'm learning to be less tolerant. My kids and I have spent a lot of nights, just the three of us, laughing at ourselves and each other, and sometimes yelling at ourselves and each other. I've learned to be more patient with them, as they experience bad days, just like I do.
I have had the great pleasure of watching my little girl turn into a beautiful and amazing young lady. She thinks she hates me often enough, but when it really matters, she gives me nothing but love and compassion, even when I don't really deserve it sometimes. She has begun taking care of her brother and herself independently, making me realize just how fast time has gone by. When she sees me sad she always offers me a hug and tells me she's sorry that I am feeling sad. She tells me it will all be okay soon, and that she loves me. She's right. Today she sent me a text to tell me that she loves me. Just because she thought I'd want to know. I love her, too. More than she will ever understand (at least until she has kids of her own).
Professionally, I think I have pulled things together quite nicely, thanks in large part to the powers that be who finally decided to actually give me curricula and materials. I'm enjoying my job, finding it easy to stay organized and on task, and look forward to going to work each morning to see what new challenges my school babies will bring my way. In my fifth year of teaching, I am finally feeling like a real, live teacher. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just good at faking it til I make it. Maybe I've finally made it, at least temporarily. Hopefully, I will never think I have completely made it; I don't want to be come lazy and disengaged with my teaching.
I guess this year has had some serious ups and downs, luckily more ups than downs. I try to remind myself that God is just using them to teach me something, even if I don't know what it is. Living in the moment is a challenge to a control freak like myself. I mean, doesn't God know I am perfectly capable of planning out the rest of my life? Why does he insist on proving me wrong? Geez Louise!
By the time I finished this post, it is actually now 26 days until my birthday. I actually decided to take my life into my own hands and pull together my own girls night birthday celebration for myself. I'm looking forward to it in so many ways! For now, I will focus on enjoying my odd-numbered age, and all the joys of being a multiple of 11. On a side note, last year I told my students I was turning a multiple of 11, and one of them yelled "77!" I'm so proud he knows his multiples :)
I'd like to sit and reminisce about all the things I have accomplished in the last year, but much of it is a blur. I do remember my birthday last year being absolutely sad and depressing. Although it's not about the gifts, it also sucks when you don't get one. Now, my awesome mom and dad DID send me money, but it was a month early, and I think I spent it on work clothes, woo hoo. The kids' dad did get a gift card to Half-Price Books, which I normally would have loved, but he was shoving it in the envelope as he walked through the door, tossed it at me, and told me he didn't know what I'd like. I remember standing there thinking, "14 years, and you don't know what I'd like?" Yeah, a good indication I did the right thing. Some people who normally would have gotten me gifts just didn't, and some didn't even recognize it; I sat home by myself wondering what had happened. I don't want to sound like a brat, it was just a totally different experience for me, and a little tough to take at the time.
I guess I actually have accomplished a lot. The year actually has flown by My kids, especially Skylar, have gotten huge, tons smarter, and far more independent (finally, thank you God!). We took in some animals for fostering until they found their forever homes. And somehow acquired our neighbor's dog when I yelled at him about calling animal control the next time he got out. I've had to eat my words a few times when he got out on me, too.
I've learned how to work with someone I sometimes despise, because it makes my kids feel better. I've learned how to better choose my battles and words (but I'm still working on this one!). Unlike many people, I take a lot of heat before finally deciding I've had enough. I'm learning to be less tolerant. My kids and I have spent a lot of nights, just the three of us, laughing at ourselves and each other, and sometimes yelling at ourselves and each other. I've learned to be more patient with them, as they experience bad days, just like I do.
I have had the great pleasure of watching my little girl turn into a beautiful and amazing young lady. She thinks she hates me often enough, but when it really matters, she gives me nothing but love and compassion, even when I don't really deserve it sometimes. She has begun taking care of her brother and herself independently, making me realize just how fast time has gone by. When she sees me sad she always offers me a hug and tells me she's sorry that I am feeling sad. She tells me it will all be okay soon, and that she loves me. She's right. Today she sent me a text to tell me that she loves me. Just because she thought I'd want to know. I love her, too. More than she will ever understand (at least until she has kids of her own).
Professionally, I think I have pulled things together quite nicely, thanks in large part to the powers that be who finally decided to actually give me curricula and materials. I'm enjoying my job, finding it easy to stay organized and on task, and look forward to going to work each morning to see what new challenges my school babies will bring my way. In my fifth year of teaching, I am finally feeling like a real, live teacher. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just good at faking it til I make it. Maybe I've finally made it, at least temporarily. Hopefully, I will never think I have completely made it; I don't want to be come lazy and disengaged with my teaching.
I guess this year has had some serious ups and downs, luckily more ups than downs. I try to remind myself that God is just using them to teach me something, even if I don't know what it is. Living in the moment is a challenge to a control freak like myself. I mean, doesn't God know I am perfectly capable of planning out the rest of my life? Why does he insist on proving me wrong? Geez Louise!
By the time I finished this post, it is actually now 26 days until my birthday. I actually decided to take my life into my own hands and pull together my own girls night birthday celebration for myself. I'm looking forward to it in so many ways! For now, I will focus on enjoying my odd-numbered age, and all the joys of being a multiple of 11. On a side note, last year I told my students I was turning a multiple of 11, and one of them yelled "77!" I'm so proud he knows his multiples :)
Monday, September 10, 2012
Back to school...again...the 2012 version
Here we go again - the start of another school year is upon us. Teachers in my district have already been working for a week, preparing ourselves and our classrooms for those little souls who will walk through our doors Tuesday morning. For the first time ever, I am really looking forward to what I think will be a really solid, productive, and positive year.
Of course, with every school year, change is inevitable. New teachers and leadership, initiatives and laws, students and situations, curriculum and materials. Sometimes it feels like education is a never ending revolving door, where things just come in and out so quickly; it is sometimes blinding. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but can become overwhelming when one just gets used to something new, just to have it change again in a couple months. I always thank the people in charge for the vote of confidence...if they didn't think we were amazing enough to keep changing gears, they wouldn't ask us to keep doing it!
I am particularly excited because, finally, after fours of teaching math intervention, we are being given an actual curriculum to use. No more looking through tons of resources for just the right thing, just to find it needs to be adapted anyway. I and my teammate have found this so time consuming that we get burnt out each year quite quickly. I like going into this year knowing exactly what is expected of me, and, most importantly, how to do it.
Now it's time for a little bit of my soapbox regarding my role as a teacher of children. There are two things I truly believe about children, and how I want to regard them.
First, middle schoolers are little kids! I know some of them have big attitudes and others have big bodies. They may have big problems and other big things in their lives. But they are still little kids. They like to think they know and can handle anything, but they're not quite as strong as they like to think. Children of this age lack experience and judgment that adults have; more importantly, the lack the emotional maturity required to be as independent as they like to act. This is not to say that they are stupid, because they surely are not. It's just a reminder to be gentle with my words and actions, and to remember to treat my students as I would want my own children to be treated in school.
Second, I actually detest the phrase "at risk." I understand it's intent as a way to identify children who may be in need of some extra attention in various areas, but who is to say that a child who doesn't have that label is in fact, not at risk? It is impossible for a teacher to tell exactly what goes on in a student's home as they grow accustomed to hiding it well. There is no way for me to know if a student is dealing with an absent parent, financial issues, drug or alcohol dependency, family issues, lack of food in the house, or a variety of other issues. More than anything else, this is the key - even well-behaved white children who do not receive free lunch or live in poverty can be just as at risk as the children or have been labeled as such. As a result, I prefer to try and teach each child as he or she is at risk. This is such a vulnerable age; anything can be a cause for crisis in an adolescent's mind.
So, with 3 days left to go, I'm putting on my official teacher hat, getting ready for that first day of school, and looking forward to a fantabulous year (yes, I am a professional word-maker-upper).
Of course, with every school year, change is inevitable. New teachers and leadership, initiatives and laws, students and situations, curriculum and materials. Sometimes it feels like education is a never ending revolving door, where things just come in and out so quickly; it is sometimes blinding. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but can become overwhelming when one just gets used to something new, just to have it change again in a couple months. I always thank the people in charge for the vote of confidence...if they didn't think we were amazing enough to keep changing gears, they wouldn't ask us to keep doing it!
I am particularly excited because, finally, after fours of teaching math intervention, we are being given an actual curriculum to use. No more looking through tons of resources for just the right thing, just to find it needs to be adapted anyway. I and my teammate have found this so time consuming that we get burnt out each year quite quickly. I like going into this year knowing exactly what is expected of me, and, most importantly, how to do it.
Now it's time for a little bit of my soapbox regarding my role as a teacher of children. There are two things I truly believe about children, and how I want to regard them.
First, middle schoolers are little kids! I know some of them have big attitudes and others have big bodies. They may have big problems and other big things in their lives. But they are still little kids. They like to think they know and can handle anything, but they're not quite as strong as they like to think. Children of this age lack experience and judgment that adults have; more importantly, the lack the emotional maturity required to be as independent as they like to act. This is not to say that they are stupid, because they surely are not. It's just a reminder to be gentle with my words and actions, and to remember to treat my students as I would want my own children to be treated in school.
Second, I actually detest the phrase "at risk." I understand it's intent as a way to identify children who may be in need of some extra attention in various areas, but who is to say that a child who doesn't have that label is in fact, not at risk? It is impossible for a teacher to tell exactly what goes on in a student's home as they grow accustomed to hiding it well. There is no way for me to know if a student is dealing with an absent parent, financial issues, drug or alcohol dependency, family issues, lack of food in the house, or a variety of other issues. More than anything else, this is the key - even well-behaved white children who do not receive free lunch or live in poverty can be just as at risk as the children or have been labeled as such. As a result, I prefer to try and teach each child as he or she is at risk. This is such a vulnerable age; anything can be a cause for crisis in an adolescent's mind.
So, with 3 days left to go, I'm putting on my official teacher hat, getting ready for that first day of school, and looking forward to a fantabulous year (yes, I am a professional word-maker-upper).
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Cleaning House
I admit it - I have been ridiculously lazy all summer in the housekeeping department; the last two weeks have been the worst, however. Whenever I mention this shortcoming to others, I tend to get the friendly support that it's school break, I'm supposed to be lazy. As much as I would like this sentiment to be true, the reality is that if I don't get this house in shape now, it certainly won't happen once I get back into the grind of going to work daily, only to come home and help my own kids with their schooling (although I confess, they are both very bright and independent, so it requires little effort on my part, thank goodness!). The kids are with their dad today, so I decided today is the day!
I started by tackling Mount Cloth, which I swear is a magic mountain, as it keeps reappearing. Even with my kids doing their own laundry for years now, the pile is always there! This time, due to my laziness I have spent most of the day re-washing stinky laundry from leaving it in the washer overnight, or de-wrinkling clothes that I left in a heap for too long before hanging. I have also tackled a ton of blankets and other stuff that just annoys me to wash. I am about 4 loads away from finishing this chore. Days like this make me appreciate the laundromat; 3 hours and all the laundry is done for a long time! I've also worked on deep cleaning the kitchen, which of course required an hour of light cleaning first. More than three hours later and that's all I've finished. Kind of disappointing.
On another, related, note, I wonder how much house cleaning I need to be doing in the rest of my life. Too often, the cobwebs in our bodies, hearts, and spirits fill us to a point where we cannot live our lives to the fullest. How much of that can be cleaned out and thrown away? For me, I have decided on a list of things that need to go; the list is not chronological, and more than one thing can be destroyed simultaneously.
First on the list, continue to kick the soda habit. It is so unhealthy for the human body, is empty calories (meaning helps gain weight or prevent weight loss), and is a very expensive habit these days. So far, I've done pretty well; I am very impressed with myself as I had become downright addicted.
Next on the list, kill the fast food habit. Like the soda, there is nothing good about greasy, highly processed foods going into the human body. Also, it is equally expensive. My last trip to McDonald's pretty much did me in when we were all feeling sick to our stomachs immediately upon eating it. The challenge here will be when I go back to work. I tend to have all my breaks around lunch, meaning I have plenty of time to sneak out and grab something. No more, I say! If my co-workers could just drag me back in the door when you see me sneaking out, I'd greatly appreciate it.
Third, eliminate all people who cause me more stress than peace. There's not very many people like that in my life, as I try to get rid of them as quickly as possible when they become nothing but negativity in my life. Sometimes, however, that is easier said than done, especially when family, close friends, and feelings are involved.
Fourth, re-establish healthy sleep and routine habits. I do not function well with little sleep, making it more difficult to fight all the cobwebs above, in addition to making me mighty grumpy to people who deserve to be treated better (everyone!). Also, I thrive on routine. I need structure, to know what's coming next, and to have a plan when it doesn't work out that way. Of course, life happens, and plans change, but having a place to get back to makes it easier for me to deal. Getting back to work will help in this area. As much as I'd like to stay home forever, I have to acknowledge work is good for giving me structure.
I think four cobwebs is enough to clean out at once, so I will stop there. I hope you will take some time to evaluate what it is in your "house" that needs cleaning. Then, find a plan to get rid of it. On that note, I must return to cleaning my real house, which is actually part of my re-establishing my routine and structure. Happy cleaning!
I started by tackling Mount Cloth, which I swear is a magic mountain, as it keeps reappearing. Even with my kids doing their own laundry for years now, the pile is always there! This time, due to my laziness I have spent most of the day re-washing stinky laundry from leaving it in the washer overnight, or de-wrinkling clothes that I left in a heap for too long before hanging. I have also tackled a ton of blankets and other stuff that just annoys me to wash. I am about 4 loads away from finishing this chore. Days like this make me appreciate the laundromat; 3 hours and all the laundry is done for a long time! I've also worked on deep cleaning the kitchen, which of course required an hour of light cleaning first. More than three hours later and that's all I've finished. Kind of disappointing.
On another, related, note, I wonder how much house cleaning I need to be doing in the rest of my life. Too often, the cobwebs in our bodies, hearts, and spirits fill us to a point where we cannot live our lives to the fullest. How much of that can be cleaned out and thrown away? For me, I have decided on a list of things that need to go; the list is not chronological, and more than one thing can be destroyed simultaneously.
First on the list, continue to kick the soda habit. It is so unhealthy for the human body, is empty calories (meaning helps gain weight or prevent weight loss), and is a very expensive habit these days. So far, I've done pretty well; I am very impressed with myself as I had become downright addicted.
Next on the list, kill the fast food habit. Like the soda, there is nothing good about greasy, highly processed foods going into the human body. Also, it is equally expensive. My last trip to McDonald's pretty much did me in when we were all feeling sick to our stomachs immediately upon eating it. The challenge here will be when I go back to work. I tend to have all my breaks around lunch, meaning I have plenty of time to sneak out and grab something. No more, I say! If my co-workers could just drag me back in the door when you see me sneaking out, I'd greatly appreciate it.
Third, eliminate all people who cause me more stress than peace. There's not very many people like that in my life, as I try to get rid of them as quickly as possible when they become nothing but negativity in my life. Sometimes, however, that is easier said than done, especially when family, close friends, and feelings are involved.
Fourth, re-establish healthy sleep and routine habits. I do not function well with little sleep, making it more difficult to fight all the cobwebs above, in addition to making me mighty grumpy to people who deserve to be treated better (everyone!). Also, I thrive on routine. I need structure, to know what's coming next, and to have a plan when it doesn't work out that way. Of course, life happens, and plans change, but having a place to get back to makes it easier for me to deal. Getting back to work will help in this area. As much as I'd like to stay home forever, I have to acknowledge work is good for giving me structure.
I think four cobwebs is enough to clean out at once, so I will stop there. I hope you will take some time to evaluate what it is in your "house" that needs cleaning. Then, find a plan to get rid of it. On that note, I must return to cleaning my real house, which is actually part of my re-establishing my routine and structure. Happy cleaning!
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