To my daughter

Skylar will be 13 in just over 2 weeks! Where did time go?! I've got this ready to go to her. I cannot wait to give it to her. Thanks to a friend for sharing this with me, so I could adapt it for my own use.

Dear Daughter,

As you approach your 13th birthday, there are some things I want, and need, you to know...

1, Try to have fun -- and a lot of it.
Life is too short to always be serious. Don't ever be afraid to laugh at yourself or the other silly things life brings your way. In the end, you have two choices, be angry about everything, or smile and laugh at the ridiculousness of it. After years of practicing both, I can assure that laughter is the better choice. "Don't do anything I would do," is sometimes good advice. But, really, maybe it's bad advice. Because, what I would do is have fun whenever possible. Unless it is illegal or will hurt someone, just go with it and enjoy your life.

2. Never be afraid to say no to someone.
  If you say "no," and don't hem and haw, people will appreciate your honesty -- even if they don't like what they hear -- more than they'll appreciate hearing a "yes" that you have to renege on. If you can't commit to something -- or to someone -- please say so. It may be an old-fashioned truism, but that doesn't mean "say what you mean and mean what you say" isn't true. This includes people. If it isn't right to have someone in your life, say no. You deserve amazingly good things; say to no to anything that isn't.

3. It is usually not about you.
As you grow older, don't worry so much about sucking your tummy in, or making sure there's not a hair out of place. Most of the time, no one is looking. Really. People like to think everyone is focused on them but, in actuality, people are usually focused on themselves. And if someone does something to you that's hurtful, it's almost certainly related to something going on in their life that has nothing to do with you.

4. No one will ever love you the way your dad and I love you.
I know, I know. You may get married. You may have kids. You may have countless boyfriends. And they will all love you enormously. There's no doubt in my mind. No one in the world would ever light up the way I do when you walk into a room. Your dad and I think the world of you; you will always be our beautiful baby girl, even though you are about to be taller than both of us.

5. Modesty is very attractive.
No matter what you call them -- tiger moms or helicopter parents -- a lot of moms and dads these days walk around telling their offspring how bright and capable they are, that they can do everything perfectly and be anything they want. As a result, many kids exude this sort of "I'm better than everyone else" self-confidence. And no doubt it's nice to be self-confident. But being humble will draw others to you, and make you stand out, more than pounding on your chest ever will. You are a very amazing young lady. You don't need to tell anyone; let them see it (they already do).

6. Always stay close to your brother.
I know it's challenging when he is driving you crazy. Always remember you were each other's first best friends. While the two of you might compete for attention in the household now, there will come a point when you  -- I'm hoping -- will be the best of friends again. Even more than your father any I, he will always have your back. Support one another. Talk to one another. Be there when he needs.you and they'll be there for you. (I'll talk to him later.)

7. Life can turn on a dime.
I'm sure you already know, life throws things at us that we could never prepare for. Be strong and enjoy what you have when you have it. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Never take anything for granted. Be grateful and tell your loved ones you love them -- every chance you get.

8. This too shall pass.
I know it's hard to believe now, but all bad things are only temporary. These are difficult years for everyone, and even as an adult, bad things.No matter how mad you are, or how sad you feel, it will pass. Certain losses will impact you for the rest of your life, but time does heal the pain. I promise.

9. Try not to hold a grudge.
Life's way too short to constantly be mad at someone. Everyone makes mistakes. If you've inadvertently hurt someone, the last thing you want is for them to hold a grudge against you. Let things go. Be forgiving.

10. Don't build your worth on objects, but on experiences.
It's not about what you have, or even what you've done, but who you've done it with. When you are old and gray you will not talk about your beautiful (or ugly) furniture you had as a young adult. You will reminisce with anyone who listen about all of your adventures with people who were in your lives. Make sure you've got memories to talk about.

11. Come out of your room every once in awhile.
We won't bite and you might actually enjoy yourself.

12. I value your opinion.
I may not always agree with you, but I want to hear what you have to say. You are very intelligent and articulate. You have good insight. Share it with me.

13. It's not uncool to have mom and dad in your corner.
It is our job, and great pleasure, to fight for you. No one hurts my babies. You've heard me say it so many times before. This is true, and sometimes it is hard to let you go to let you fight your own battles. It's because we love you so much, it pains us to see you hurting. We will always be here for you.

Finally, here's one to grow on --  "Make good choices." And if you don't, we'll deal with it.

So have a fabulous birthday today. I love you, you smart, gorgeous, unpredictable, hilariously funny 13-year-old girl.