And Reality Sets In...

I promised I would not make this a divorce only thread, but tonight it seems fitting, so here goes...

This whole divorce thing seemed so easy, almost surreal, most of the time. I said repeatedly that I knew once I returned from New York to an empty house and the reality that this is my life, it would hit hard. I came back, and it was okay, good even. I saw and heard Alex say to himself as he looked around this morning, "I love this house." That just about made my day for some reason. We unpacked, played, then the kids went to play with Gramma while I went to the YMCA. Life had returned to normal.

Then it was time for the kids to go on their first night with their dad. That didn't bother me either; in fact, I was excited about all I could do on my time off. Until Alex cried. Not for me, of course, but because he had wanted to play with his friend tonight. I had to be the strong one and say, without emotion, "I understand, but today is Tuesday, so you are going to Daddy's." I stood on the porch and waved and blew kisses at that sad little boy face. I know the tears probably ended before the end of the street, but it still broke my Mommy heart.

I think the other part that bothered me was knowing that this is going to be my life forever. Well, at least for the next 11 years. Making my kids leave their home and friends for their time with their Daddy. Which brings me back to my, "Did I do the right thing?" mode. Or the, "Was it really worse than this is?" line of thought. I know the answer is a solid, "Yes," to both, but sometimes my heart gets the best of me and I begin to forget what I know.

I don't drink, so I'm on my way out to drown my sorrows in hot wings. Those of you who really know me understand that I see them as the world's best cureall. They heal you physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Cheaper than doctors or therapist, and they taste good too! I'm thinking of opening a restaurant and making that my slogan :)