I've been officially divorced for 1 month today, but it seems like forever ago. And, while I have my moments of missing the X (like at a stop light today when some random thought popped into my head), I am ready to start dating. Before anyone goes all postal on me, let me explain a few things:
1. I have been alone much longer than the time it took to make this divorce happen. I has been months, if not a year or more since I have had an emotional connection of any kind with someone of the opposite sex. And let's face it, as much as I love my girl friends, well, it's just not the same.
2. I am not looking to find a new lifelong partner right now; just to go out and have some fun with a man. See number 1 above, and I will continue it by saying it's has also been that long since I went on a real date with someone of the opposite sex. The X and I dropping the kids at Gramma's then wandering around wondering what to do and where to go just doesn't count as a date.
3. I also am not looking for someone to jump into bed with. Let's just not go there, there's just too much with that one. But, still, I figured I should at least point it out.
Now here's the problem, and it's my own little secret about to be revealed: I have NEVER been on a real date with someone I am not in a relationship with. Crazy, isn't it? I met X when I was 17, and we all know how 17-year-olds hook up. Hook up is the best way to describe it, because it's not like all of a sudden someone comes up to you and says, "Would you go out with me," Or whatever people say when they ask someone on a date. They just kinda start hanging out together, and then one thing leads to another, and then suddenly, they're an item. So, it has been 17 years since I was on the dating scene that I was never really on to begin with.
So, my problem is, even if I were brave enough to ask (I'm not), how does one go about doing it? I could try the ole, "Come here often?" but, umm...even I know that's not it. I could even try any of the other cliche pick up lines, but all of them would require me to know where to find single men.
That leads me to the next problem - where do I look for single men? I have plenty of single male friends, but friend is the key word there. And most of the other single men I know still think I'm married, so just think of that asking out line! "Umm, so, I know I used to be married, but great news! I'm not! So, wanna get some dinner some time?" I don't think that'll be in my best interest.
I think I need to go on a practice date. I just need an opportunity to get out there, try it out, and learn a few things before taking the plunge. Any takers?
I need a practice date, too. We need some practice men.
ReplyDeleteNot that there is any right answer, however if it is someone you know that you want to date, I think opportunities can present themselves when you are talking with them. You like horseback riding? So do I? I always wanted to try that restaurant, or I love it there. Maybe sometime we can go together. In other words it does not have to be a date at first, it is just you trying new things or doing things you love with someone else that has it in common. In a sense a practice date. Also guess what, if you do not look at it like a "date" you are more apt to ask.
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