"One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory"

"One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory" --Rita Mae Brown

I disagree with this quote.

Happiness, in itself, is one of those things that everyone wants, but few know how to get.  Many people spend years, if not their entire lifetime, looking for this thing called happiness, only to find it can never really be "found."  According to Brown, in the quote above, the key to happiness is a bad memory; meaning in order to be happy you have to be able to forget the past.

But, is forgetting the past always a good idea?  Isn't the past where we learned from mistakes that we, hopefully, won't make again?  Isn't that where we learned what worked and what didn't, so we can move forward and do it better next time?  I understand the appeal of forgetting the past, especially when it hurts.  Things that people have said or done to us even years ago can haunt us forever if we don't make ourselves forget.  Or, even worse, things that we have said or done to others can also haunt us if we don't make ourselves forget.

So, I'm wondering if it's not so much the bad memory that is the important part, or the ability to file it away for future reference.  For instance, say a good friend went behind your back at work and caused a lot of trouble for you there.  I bet you were mad, as you should have been.  But just forgetting it may not be the best course of action.  Maybe the better solution would be to process it, take what you've learned, then file that memory for later, if it ever ends up useful at a later date.  Maybe you learned to be careful about figuring out who is or isn't trustworthy before divulging your every secret.  Or maybe you learned that some things are better not told.  Whatever it is, don't forget the past, learn from it.

The other issue I have with this quote is that "happiness" is merely a construct.  It cannot be defined because it looks different for every person.  My idea of happiness is probably a nightmare to some people, while the lives that others live is clearly not for me.  This is perfectly fine, as long as each of us is happy in what and where we are in life.

Because happiness does not really exist, searching for it is nearly impossible.  It cannot  be found, but it can be created.  Each of us has the choice to be happy or not; no one can make that choice for us.  Sometimes it stinks that someone can't just come along at tell me, "be happy!" and make everything okay.  But life wouldn't be worth much if it was just that easy.  I consider it a great accomplishment when I am able to take whatever is bad in my life, file it away for another time (or not at all), and create happiness within myself based on all the blessings I have.