"Even the toughest people need a break sometimes"

I was talking to a long time friend on the phone about a week ago.  I didn't even tell him I had gotten divorced until 3 months after the fact, and when I did he was shocked. He had followed our entire courtship, came to our wedding, basically watched our family grow up.  I think he felt the loss almost as much as I did, and of course, his attention went right to me and my well-being.

When I talked to him yesterday, we chatted, and then he asked me, "how are you doing?"  I respond with the usual, "I'm doing well,"  Then he repeated in the you better not lie to me tone, "but how are YOU?"  I told him, "I'm good, I'm tough you know that."  His response is one of the best bits of advice I have received in a long time, and it really got me thinking.  He said, "I know you are tough, but even the toughest people need a break sometimes."

Wow!  That really shocked my brain back into reality.  Was I okay?  Had I taken a break lately?  Or was I so overwhelmed physically and emotionally that I had forgotten to take care of myself?  Unfortunately, I think the answer was the latter.  Busy with raising kids, maintaining a home, taking care of my school babies, and dealing with other life issues had just worn me out.  I needed a break.  "When will I get a break," I asked myself bitterly.

After thinking for a little while, it occurred to me that nobody has breaks handed to them, unless they are especially lucky.  Breaks do not just appear out of nowhere.  We need to make our own breaks.Taking care of ourselves is our responsibility and no one else's. The good news is we don't have to sit around waiting for someone to take care of us.  The bad news is that we can't have someone take care of us, we have to do it ourselves.

How many people can honestly say they are good about providing themselves with breaks?  I used to be good about doing this, but now that life has become so hectic, I tend to forget, or convince myself I don't need them "I'm fine," I say to myself.  I can just push through this rough spot, and I'll be okay in the end.  Unfortunately, this usually ends with me becoming burnt out.

That's not to say that we can't call on our friends to help us out; indeed I have many friends who are there in an instant, either physically, on the phone, or even checking in on Facebook.  The thing is, I have to tell them that I need them.  My friends are not psychic (though sometimes they impress me with seeming so), they have their own lives to live, and are busy with finding time for themselves.  But, once they know I need something, they are right there.

In conclusion, we need to take some of what is referred to as "back of the boat time."  I learned this term when I was in seminary; it refers to the story of Jesus falling asleep at the back of the boat while his disciples were scared during a raging storm on the sea.  The disciples were angry that Jesus had just left them alone to fend for themselves.  However, in the end, though he was taking a little break for himself, he was there when they needed them.  I figure if even Jesus needs to take some "back of the boat time," then surely I do, too.