NOTE: This is post is from my Presbyterian Christian perspective. Feel free to tweak as you see fit to accommodate the name of whatever god you worship, or even mankind in general.
Ever had one of those moments where you're convinced the pastor wrote the sermon especially for you? How about a day where you're convinced the entire service was for you? Or, as in my case today, the prayer of confession was written JUST FOR YOU? We Presbyterians believe that, not only are we constant sinners, but that God is the constant forgiver. The prayer of confession is our time to come before God and admit our limitations, while asking for forgiveness. I always laugh to myself because I know asking is not a requirement, but as humans, it is something we feel we need to do. God's grace is granted to us before we are even able to understand it. Nothing we do, think, nor say will cause God to turn from us. There is nothing we can do to earn God's grace, nor lose it. I find this to be a re-assuring thought.
Today's prayer of confession dealt with the issue of jealousy. Well, let me tell you, that has been my biggest enemy in the last month or so, and boy, has it gotten me into a lot of trouble! You see, I let my guard down, and in so doing, I let feelings of inadequacy slip in (which is rare, this usually doesn't happen). When that happened, I behaved in ways that ended up hurting a friend, the friend's friend, and myself. So, there we were reading the words on the screen, the words meant for me. As I read, the idea came into my head that there are actually two sides of jealousy, neither of them is right, and they both hurt.
First of all, the obvious side of jealousy is when one wants something someone else has, either an object, a person, or a way of life. Jealousy, for the most part, is unhealthy because it blurs our vision of what is right and wrong. Jealousy has a way of making us act in ways that are unkind to others. Even though it makes perfect sense to the jealous, it seems most unreasonable to the person at which it is directed. Jealousy is wrong because it shows unhappiness with the many blessings in one's life already. It basically says, "hey, God, what you've given me is not enough. I want THAT (insert pointing finger)." This attitude is not the way to approach God, the giver of all things. In addition, it does not feel good to live with jealousy. It is right up there with hatred, seeing as it is based on hatred for what others have that you do not.
Before I go on to talk about the other side of jealousy, I need to clarify that what I am about to say does not excuse the actions of the jealous. It is not an excuse for behaving in hurtful ways, nor is it a way to take the responsibility off that person. Ultimately, we are all responsible for our own thoughts and actions, however, sometimes it is also important to look at the other side of the story.
The second side of jealousy, which people often do not consider, is that certain behaviors may lead to the development of jealousy in others. I think we all know of people who like to brag about their things and accomplishments. We're not talking about people who genuinely share with those that love them, but about people who show off only to make themselves look amazing. We can also be talking about people who are fair weather friends, going off with whichever friend is the most "useful" at the time, leaving others that care about them in the dust. Pushing one friendship aside for the sake of another can also create jealousy. As can over-emphasizing the worth of things over people. In my humble opinion, failing to be mindful of the needs others is just as thoughtless of the jealousy itself.
So, I guess the whole point of this post is to remind people that others are watching and caring about you. Please be aware of feelings of jealousy that creep up on you, and take steps to extinguish them as soon as possible. And, please be aware that your actions can hurt others in a way that makes them feel jealous. Neither is better nor worse than the other. For, we have been commanded to love one another, which can only happen when we are thinking about the needs of others, in addition to ourselves.
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